Is your child very moody, doesn't laugh, or doesn't like to be touched? Do they sit and stare blankly? Be very concerned, you are about to be tested.
If they are ill at ease amongst almost all but you, be very suspicious! Lack of trust is a sure sign that something is very wrong in their lives. If kids they show dislike for any person, be it your husband, baby-sitter, family member or associate, male or female, they are showing you molesters!
Molesters are very sneaky. Your child'safety is your job! A sudden change in their mood could very well mean molestation is happening! ''I'll kill your mom if you tell!'' is the common threat.
They don't know how to tell you and are trying to protect you!
Face the harsh reality, have the molesters aprehended by the sex crime police!
Don't betray your child with self-doubt! Stop the molestation! Do not confront the child or acuse the child. It is never the child's fault!
Calm yourself. Your child needs you desperately now. Be calm, speak reassuringly that you have things under control no. Don't confront the molester in front of the child.
Do not blame yourself. Molesters are very sneaky, and use threats or lies to keep their victim silent. Usually threats cause the child to be silent in an attempt to
Our policy is to believe children. We would much rather apologize to an adult for being wrong about them than to ever have to apologize to a child for not protecting them.
What can you do if you suspect sexual abuse?
Keep calm - It is important to remember that you are not angry with the child, but at what happened. Children can mistakenly interpret anger or disgust as directed towards them.
Believe the child - In most circumstances, children do not lie about sexual abuse. Give positive messages - Such as ''I knew you could not help it.'' or ''I proud of you for telling.''
Explain - to the child that he or she is not blame for what happened. Listen to and answer the child's questions honestly. Respect the child's privacy. Be careful not to discuss the abuse in front of people who do not need to know what happened.
Be responsible - Report the incident to the Department of Human Services.
They can help to protect the child's safety and provide resources for further help.
Arrange a medical exam, it can reassure that there has not been any permanent physical damage and may verify important evidence.
Get help - Get competent professional counseling, even if it is only for a short time. See the table of contents: ''Heal Quickly'' (or get a secretive, abusive therapist)
Call the sexual assault crisis center nearest you.
Don't:
Panic or overreact when the child talks about the experience. Children need help and support to make it through this difficult time.
Pressure the child to talk or avoid talking about the abuse. Allow the child to
Secret Guidebook a Great Life! by Gentle Warrior 771 talk at his or her own pace. Forcing information can be harmful. Silencing the child will not him or her to forget.
Confront the offender in the child's presence. Distress may be harmful. This is a job for the authorities.
Never blame the child. SEXUAL ABUSE IS NEVER THE CHILD'S FAULT.
* All information presented here is property of the Sexual Assault Crisis Center of
Knoxville, TN. http://www.stopsexualabuse.com/toreport.htm
Much more at the site. There isn't enough praise to thank them. Their wonderful materials are available to you at the url below to give you and your children aide.
http://www.thesacc.org/
One of only 8 freestanding units in Tennesee' url is above.
From: http://srv2.ainet.com/parentsunited/parent.html
Parents United of Stanislaus County, Inc.
For 24 hour support call: National Sexual Assault Hotline 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
END
See: *Therapist Warnings* and become aware of the dangers that exist. Your
child needs you desparately!
*Therapist Warnings*
http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=enus&q=THERAPIST+ABUSE&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
Therapist abuse is common! Many just make you dependant to line their pocketbooks. It is a very common ploy. You should start to feel better outside the office in a few months or consider looking elsewhere. 17 year billing is not uncommon. Many therapists went into the field in school to investigate their own problems.
If they are a victim of the same trauma, how can they tell you about normality? Example: 40% of ****sexuals can tell you that they were molested.
A woman therapist is not insurance against abuse. You can't ask, ''Are you a victim too?'' Abusers will merely lie, or have amnesia about their abuse. You'll just have to see if you feel better using their advice. It is an intimate relationship, where abuse happens regularly. (80% of molesters or rapists were molested.)
All following text is from the Internet. ''One of the traumas in my life was that, at a time when I was functioning at a very low level, I had a therapist who thought (Deliberately lied to you) that my giving him oral sex would be therapeutic.
I was a juvenile at the time and he had my 4 year old persona engage in this activity. He knew that a child couldn't say no.'' Gentle Warrior adds, ''This is a very dangerous field, filled with hidden abusers. Be extremely careful.''
[One self-reporting survey reported that ''as high as 13.7 percent of male
therapists responding] and 3.1 percent of female respondents have reported engaging in some form of erotic contact with at least one patient.'' One survey of practicing therapists found that 70 percent were aware of at least one patient who had been sexually involved with a previous therapist.
Patients are harmed by sexual contact with their therapist. Studies of practicing therapists estimate that, in their observations, between eighty-seven and ninety percent of the patients who have had sexual contact with their therapist are damaged.]
Excerpt is from a female lawyer giving her URL as: http://www.wwlia.org/us-prosx.htm
END
This can be applied to all types of therapy. Warning: Many therapists are victims also. This means that a percentage are functional psychotics. (rapists or molesters)
Trauma groups are usually comprised of many victims too. Getting a referral from a major hospital will help prevent problems, perhaps not 100%. Persistence will give you eventual satisfaction. One woman went to 15 therapists before finding a good one. 15! Don't take referrals from rejected therapists.
Persistence will give you eventual satisfaction.
Persistence will give you eventual satisfaction.
Persistence will give you eventual satisfaction.
She's extremely happy with this one!
On treatment by a victim: It will find you a sympathetic listener. It does not mean that they will give you good advice. How can they tell you about normalcy when they have no idea? Sympathy, while it may make you feel better while in the office, can leave you cold in the world.
Strong words sometimes bring victims into shaking: but sometimes they may be necessary to achieve progress. Confrontation is necessary at times, and victims are usually too sympathetic to do it.
Advice given by a victim, is like the blind leading the blind. They can't judge what normal actions are, so how could they tell you? Below are the words of a strong, non-victim therapist.
''I have never been a victim and I have never abused drugs. I don't think that those people make for the best therapists. Those that have gone through it have problems that are unresolved. They cannot give an unbiased view of reality. They are too busy trying to compare their experiences with everyone who comes through their doors.'' Kathi R Shell.
It is very important to try different counselors to find one that heals you. Not one that just makes you dependent and bills you! Get a therapist who has not been through your trauma. Being a victim is often a characteristic amongst therapists.
You cannot ask, ''Are you a victim too?'' 60% of molestation victims have amnesia, so couldn't tell you. 80% of rapists are molestation victims. There is a lesbian **** group online. The victims were abused by another lesbian while under hypnosis. The counselor being a woman is no assurance against abuse.
Just as you would not pick a bad doctor to treat your body, don't stay with a bad therapist. Forgiving is a commonly misunderstood teaching amongst therapists. It is not necessary in order to heal. In the book the ''Courage to Heal- A Guide for Women
of Childhood Sexual Abuse'' (men switch genders) this is explained. Bad therapy can be harmful.
A victim says, ''I told my x's about my abuse and in heated arguments it was brought back up to me like something dirty, you know ''At least my family were not child molesters'' this is just an extension of abuse, but it made me afraid to tell anyone after that.
Tell, tell and tell anyone who will listen, This is good therapy and a way of getting back at the molester. Don't be afraid of people's reactions if they truly care about you they will only love you more for sharing with them.
People who have been abused have stuffed feelings for too long and need to get it out. TALK about it and that is what this group is for. Other people will write you and tell you that they had so many of the same feelings and will tell you how they coped. Love yourself and give yourself credit for surviving.
Say a lesser person would have fallen apart, but I am still here, still going on with life. Reclaim your innocence and let the little person in you come out to play, let the big you love the little you.
Love,
katie''
''My therapist had me crying before I read ''THERAPIST CHOICE.'' (Under PERSONAL PROBLEMS* in the table of contents.) ''Thanks for your advice. Yep, I switched therapists and this one seems so much better for me than the other one did. It's much more intense, but maybe that's what I needed I know I've got a long road ahead of me, but I'm trying my hardest.
Thanks,
Wendy
